My Solution for Gitmo

I've been thinking a lot about this Gitmo Detainee thing. Heck the left is so upset about how they are getting along and all. I always want to be helpful so I put on my little thinking cap to see how I could help! Suddenly in the middle of the night, I shot up out of bed and yelled "Eureka"!

What caused me to get so excited! Nothing less than a solution sure to please every whim of the leftist heart! Here's my solution to the problem of what to do with the Detainees at Gitmo:

Let's put them all up for adoption! That's right! Come on Liberals! This is the way you can show you really care! To help you, here is what we will do.

We'll make a website containing all the detainee's pictures, bios, likes and dislikes, favorite colors, etc. Then we'll let you who care so much about their love and care - adopt one (or more) of them and take them home.

That's right! It's perfect! (I can feel your liberal excitement!) Adopt a Terrorist! Think of it! No more "peeing on their Qurans"; no more having to stand up for long periods, no more Christine Aguilera blaring all hours of the night! Not for your little refugee! Now you can give them all the love and caring you think they so rightly deserve!

Go ahead, take them home and love 'em, pet 'em and squeeze 'em and protect them from them bad old "nazi" military guys and gals! You can even let them play on your home computer and download neat stuff like, oh, plans for the Golden Gate Bridge or Grand Central Station! And best of all, now that the Government can't spy on them there - you can even drive them to the library where they can get all the resources they need to learn stuff like, "How to make a fool-proof dirty bomb" or "How to get that Anthrax where the Feds can't find it - until it's too late"!

Man! I'm feeling the love now! Just think of the love and warmth they'll feel for you when after they "grow up", and leave your loving home into the wild they come back home and nuke your city! (I'm tearing up here...")

Best of all, Senators like "Dick" Durbin can lead the way! Heck, as a Senator he could adopt at least two or three Detainees and show the example! So come on Dick! Get in the game my man! Head down to Gitmo and take a few back home with you on your chartered jet!

So all of you who are concerned about detainee welfare - put your concern where your heart is and Adopt a Terrorist today!

Disclaimer: Offer void where prohibited ( ex. detainees cannot be adopted by people residing in detainee home countries - they don't want them).

June 16, 2005

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